No matter how old you are, there will always be unwanted drama in your life, whether it’s at school, home, or work. There’s always going to be someone who disagrees with you, challenges you, or just blatantly doesn’t like you. For me, I can name a few girls from college that just don’t like me, and the worst part is… we used to be friends.
Photo: Ryan Moreno on Unsplash
Last year, I was involved in some of the most ridiculous drama and I lost some friends, including my best friend of eight years. It’s taken me a while to get used to this sort of emptiness that I now have in my life, but to be completely honest, I feel 100% better than I have in a really long time. At some point last year, I realized that this drama and these “friends” weren’t worth my time. I gave so much to people who gave very little in return. It was especially hard to admit that my best friend of eight years wasn’t really my best friend. I finally stood up for myself because I deserved better than what I was getting. I wasn't mean. I wasn’t petty. I just decided to move on and be the bigger person.
I had this preconceived idea of who I was supposed to become when I got to college. I wasn’t going to be high school Emma anymore; I was going to reinvent myself and become a whole new Emma that no one had ever met before. I ended up becoming friends with a group of girls that I honestly never would have been friends with in high school. These girls are not bad people by any means, but they just didn’t have my best interest at heart, and I felt like I always had their best interest at heart. I was always a shoulder to cry on and I would never leave a girl behind at a party. I watched out for them because I cared, but sooner or later, I realized that they would leave me behind- and that’s exactly what they did. For a really long time, I cared about being left behind and I fought back. I kept trying to weasel my way back into a group of girls that just didn’t want me around. I gossiped with them about other friends, and became the girl that I hated in high school.
Finally, I realized that I didn’t want to be that person. I wasn’t that person. I was better than petty gossip and drama. For those girls, however, I was the center of petty drama for most of second semester of my sophomore year- they gossipped about me. It hurt; I’m not going to lie about that. I had been friends with these girls since the beginning of freshman year and I didn’t want to let them go. I knew I had to let them go, let all the drama and gossip go, and just move on. I was, and am, better off being surrounded by people who love and care about me- people that wouldn’t just leave me behind.
You might be wondering why I am telling you this story about myself. What’s the point? Well, I’m glad you asked. The point is that I hope anyone who reads this learns that you shouldn’t have to put up with people who don’t care about you and don’t watch out for you… even if you care and watch out for them. There’s a point where you just have to start living for yourself, not for other people. You have to figure out what the best thing is for you, and you have to surround yourself with people who make you a better person. It’s hard to move on and be the bigger person, and I still struggle with it all the time. I just know that I can find people who will make me happy and be there for me no matter what, and won’t make me want to change into someone I’m not just to fit in.
My name is Emma Berry, I'm 20 years old and I am a junior at the College of the Holy Cross. I'm an English major with a concentration in Creative Writing. I also joined the Pre-Business program, as I hope to get a job in the publishing field after I graduate. I basically run on iced coffee and when I have free time I love to just read or watch Netflix (and Game of Thrones).